Outrage erupted earlier this summer over offensive lyrics in rapper Drake’s Jodeci Freestyle, featuring fellow rapper J. Cole. “I’m artistic, you n–as is autistic, retarded,” he intoned. Parents, advocates and groups included Autism Speaks denounced the lyrics, prompting both Cole and Drake to issue apologies (and remove the line from the song). As Drake said, “Individuals with autism have brilliant and creative minds, and their gifts should not be disparaged or discounted. This was a learning lesson for both of us….”
While it sure wasn’t a proud moment in rapper history, the lesson of the mea culpas resonated: It’s wrong to ridicule people who have autism. And now, Drake’s said something else that could further influence on his young fans. On Friday, the singer told MTV News, “A lot of people see it as a cop-out—’oh, you’re apologizing’—but sometimes it doesn’t pay to be that rebellious.”
That’s exactly the thing about many people who use the word “retarded” and other words that offend those with special needs. Try asking them not to and they dig in their heels and insist they can use it despite its awful connotations. A couple of years ago, when I did a Twitter experiment in which I tracked the word “retard” and politely asked people not to use it, a bunch basically told me to bug off (actually, some used a different phrase). They clung to the “I have the right to say anything I want to, it’s freedom of speech” argument. Sadly, it’s no longer just that word; blogger Lisa Quinones-Fontanez and actress Holly Robinson Peete have both wondered whether “autistic” might even replace the word “retarded.”
I could tell that for some, especially teens, tossing around a word that offends people with intellectual disability (and those of us who have family members with ID) made them feel defiantly cool. Some just didn’t get that even when the word isn’t used against a person with ID, it perpetuates negative stereotypes—that people with special needs are losers, dumb, [insert insult here].
It never fails to astound me when people get ticked off each time I write about this. Guaranteed, I’ll get some Facebook argument about how parents like me need to get a thicker skin (inevitably from a mom who has no children with special needs). Sometimes, I think it makes naysayers feel smarter to “intellectualize” the issue and argue over it. How pitiful is that? The fact (yes, FACT) is that it’s offensive. And it’s personal, to this parent and many others.
Why, why, why is it so hard to just use another word? My son is cognitively impaired. He has plenty of hurdles to overcome in life. To be sure, lots more stand in his way, but respecting him and others in the language we use is one simple thing we can all do.
Follow Drake’s lead: Back off. You’ll be a far cooler person if you don’t use words like “autistic” and “retarded.”
From my other blog:
Would you call my child a retard?
Quiz: Do you get why this word hurts so much?
Haters gonna hate, and this blogger’s gonna pity
Image of Drake via Shutterstock